Chapter 270 |
Genocide Online
270 The Monologue of Masaki Sugo
—I first met Rena Ichijou when I was in junior high school.
Having just graduated from elementary school, I was much more of a brat than I was now. Thus, when I first saw her, “A beautiful creature that is different from me.’
I didn’t really understand it, but the sight of such a peculiar existence was both frustrating and captivating.
I lacked understanding about her, and in turn, I became fixated at her. I couldn’t name the feelings. All I knew was that it was terribly unpleasant.
“Hey, why are you always alone?”
I was much denser than I am now, so I immediately jumped the gun.
After all, the sight of her staring at a blank notebook while motionlessly holding a pen was simply too unnerving.
“…”
…Instead of a reply, she merely stared at me.
When she was in middle school, she wasn’t as humane as she was now.
If anything, she seemed like an animated doll who pretended to be human and tried to get through the day… It was somewhat creepy.
“Hey, say something.”
“…Uh, it's fine weather today?”
“What was that?”
Perhaps, it was her first time to meet a rude and impudent brat like me. Overwhelmed, she struggled to come up with a response, and the result was an incredibly tacky and scripted answer.
Still, keeping in mind my command to say something, she gave such a meek and unpredictable yet stereotypical answer.
“What are you doing over there?”
“…I’m Reina Ichijou.”
“No, that’s not what I was asking, but—”
…Aah, even now when I think about it, our first meeting was so embarrassing. It was certainly part of my black history. Without knowing what to expect, I asked a bunch of random questions. In response, she gave me a bunch of template answers.
I was just being a menace.
“Everyone, please be seated for the class is about to start~”
“Tch—! Just remember this.”
“…”
I didn’t even know what it was all about, but I kept spouting trashy lines… Also, even though we were pretty much in the same class for the next three years, nothing really came out of it.
If anything, I just kept messing around with her.
…It was around the end of the first semester that my repressed, frustrating feelings came to a head.
“—You’re making a fool of me!”
I heard a scream. When I followed it, I saw her being surrounded by several girls on the field behind the pool. Because summer break was approaching, it was no longer used for classes.
I, who was a brat, sided with the girls instead.
I mean, she’s really cheeky. I don’t know what goes in her mind. Her fault for being so unapproachable.
“…”
But eventually, a contrasting opinion welled from the depths of my heart.
Why are you harassing her? We don’t even know what she’s thinking.
Only then did I realize how ridiculous my frustration was. I got annoyed because she never responded to me.
In the next moment, I saw one of the girls raising her hand towards her—
—and before I knew it, I ran towards them. It was as if my body had a mind of its own.
“Hey, the teacher’s coming.”
“Ugh, it’s Sugo!”
“Let’s go!”
Even if I was like that, I was strong. I was good at both sports and studying, so I had a good reputation in class.
The girls, who didn’t want to make an enemy of me, immediately left the scene.
“…Why don’t you say anything back?”
“Thank you for your help.”
“Why are you thanking me instead of answering the question?”
I didn’t know why, but I was really, really annoyed at the time.
I didn’t like it. I didn’t like how she seemed to be bound by something, hence all those unnatural behaviors.
Why are you being so difficult?
“…You’re so lame.”
Before I knew it, I was speaking loudly to her.
Why is it that someone like you can hoard all my attention by simply standing there and doing nothing?
I don’t like it—I don’t like how you’ve deprived me of my freedom.
…But such an out-of-place feeling dissipated in the next moment.
“—My mother, she’s no longer with us.”
“—”
She broke down and started crying.
For the first time, I saw her as a person.
For the first time, she expressed her raw emotions.
For the first time, I realized why I was drawn to her.
She was much more composed now, but at that time, she was clearly unstable. From her words and actions, I could guess that her beloved mother had passed away.
Even if we didn’t get along all that well, I could fathom how painful it was to lose a loved one.
…When I came to my senses, I was reaching out to her.
“…I’m sorry.”
I was such a moron, I didn’t realize I’d fallen for her. I was so stupid, she had to break down in tears for me to get it.
That was also the only time she’d ever shown her true emotions. Afterwards, she returned to her usual, aloof self.
“…”
However, my perspective was forever changed.
To me, she was no longer that bizarre doll, but more of a helpless child who couldn’t express herself freely because she was bound by something.
…How should I put it, I couldn’t leave her alone… I want to be her strength…
Certainly, there was also the yearning to be special to the woman I liked, but… More than that, I wanted to help this scarred child.
But, as I’d been saying since a while ago, I was just a moron who excelled at studying, so nothing really came out of it.
…Maybe that’s why. In the three years leading up to graduating from junior high school, even though we were in the same class, I didn’t even remain in her memory.
Even though I was annoyed by that, by the time I entered high school, I had started to come to terms with it. At the same time, her mimicry had also gotten better. She could imitate ordinary people just fine. On the surface, it seemed as if the problem had disappeared.
…But whenever we passed each other in the hallway, or when I caught a glimpse of her face outside the classroom, her tearstained face was resurrected in my mind.
I wanted her to smile. However, I didn’t have the strength to do so, nor the method… I didn’t even know much about Rena Ichijou.
Hitting a roadblock, I unleashed my frustration into the game.
It was a silver lining that the game, which was scheduled to be officially launched in the latter half of the second semester of the first year of high school, had a visible index called karma value.
…I channeled my desire to help her by helping other people instead.
So, regardless of whether it was a player or NPC, whenever I saw an increase in my karma value, a false sense of relief would wash upon me—
‘—Ah, I’ve saved them.’
Of course, I also liked other aspects of the game. But with the NPCs acting so realistically that they were basically indistinguishable from real people, I grew even more immersed in the game.
Then, three days since the service was launched, the incident happened—
—that’s right, it’s her.
I had a match against the infamous Genocider.
—Of course, we never stood a chance.
Even though she was my first love, I really didn’t recognize her at first. To me at the time, she was simply a troublesome fellow.
Although I did think they were somewhat similar, I didn’t really connect the dots.
Hence why, at first, I was irritated at her for hindering my efforts to help others and harming NPCs and players alike.
Later, I was somewhat shocked when I found out that Rena was actually her.
What should I do? I can’t help her… At the same time, I’ve become a hero of justice in this game. But what if I can save her here?
I’ve grown attached to the NPCs, but I also can’t regard her as a stranger anymore… I was really at a loss.
…It was as if I was running in circles. Ultimately, I decided that I had to face her head-on.
During the first official event, didn’t I passionately declare war at her?
Even so, when I thought about it, ‘I don’t know anything about her, do I?’ So, I better did it properly this time around.
Hence why, unlike three years ago, without running away or being intimidated—
—I thought I’d try to get closer with this person, who looked so fragile, she might shatter at the gentlest of touch.
…Though, I was the one who got beaten instead.
But gradually, I came to realize that she was enjoying the game.
Unlike her former self, she was now being true to herself.
Rather than feeling sorry, I thought it was cool.
Hence why the contrast with the real-life version, which acted differently from the game, stood out.
“…Hey, Ichijou.”
“What is it?”
I called out to her, and she, who stood under the plastic umbrella I’d given her, turned to face me. She was still drenched, and the look on her face was akin to that of a helpless, injured child.
No traces of her annoying, cool, and carefree self could be seen. One that’d make me involuntarily raise my tone.
I couldn’t save her in the real world because I didn’t have any level or status.
“You have to come, alright?”
“…”
“Don’t hold back on me, you get it?”
That was why—all I could do was invite her to a fun playground.
“…Well, I’d never cut corners when playing with Masaki.”
“Hmph, let’s see about that!”
In the game world, I could face her head-on.
We could be free, even just for a moment… In that place, I’d beat you for sure.
…I was still a gamer, so I didn’t like it when I kept losing or getting a draw. After all, I hadn’t won yet.
“You’re the only one who looks straight at me, and charges at me head-on.”
“…Of course.”
I couldn’t help but grin.
It was my habit whenever I got flustered.
“Then, it’s a promise.”
“…I see. Then it has to be fulfilled no matter what.”
“Of course!”
Well, as long as you don’t mind, then I’m fine with that.
“Well then, keep yourself warm so you don’t catch a cold.”
I kept staring at Ichijou’s back as she disappeared into the gigantic mansion without ever looking back.
“…I failed, didn’t I?”
As I looked at her drenched back, I regretted not preparing a towel.
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