Chapter 129: Until Eternity |
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“I’m sorry, Melissa.”
“……What?”
I blinked blankly at the unexpected words.
“I made you wait so long without realizing my heart. Because I didn’t recognize you right away.”
“…….”
It was a sudden story. I didn’t want to hear him say sorry in this beautiful greenhouse. There are many other stories I would like you to tell……….
I urgently kissed Alan’s hand. On cold hands that smell of roses and grass.
“Why would you say that? We are lovers.”
What was truly unsettling was how I felt when I heard those words. When did you smile so dazzlingly as if it could even melt the snow that had accumulated all winter, and why did you suddenly say something like this?
“You came back like this…….”
Alan continued as I mumbled with an awkward smile.
“Then I thought. The time I spent making you anxious because of my shortcomings must have been incomparably longer and deeper than this. There is no way to erase the mistakes that are already clearly engraved in your memory.”
“…….”
“Then, do I really have the right to want you?”
I became helplessly anxious. Did I come too late, perhaps? Did I fade to him while we were away from the sea?
“……What are you talking about?”
Even as I pursed my lips in despair, I couldn’t stop the anxious thoughts. So what did the kiss just before mean? Goodbye?
Feeling dizzy as if my heart had dropped to the ground, I prayed as if I was begging, hoping that my persuasion would work.
“I can’t forget that memory as something that never happened, but…You just have to cover those memories with new memories.”
“Of course I intend to.”
“Oh…….”
At that simple answer, my legs gave out and I almost collapsed. Alan held me and continued speaking.
“I will make up for it. Even if I spend all my time and my life.”
“Make up?”
His words were sweet at first glance, but for some reason, I felt as if a painful sensation was rising from the corner of my heart
“……Is that what you’re talking about, throwing away your work to welcome me when you don’t know when I’ll return?”
“…….”
“I heard you’re not even going out of the house! Then the business…….”
As the confident voice began to tremble, Alan’s eyes narrowed. I continued quickly.
“I am not as weak as you think. What I’m saying is that I wouldn’t have burst into tears the moment I got home because you weren’t there. There was no need to destroy something precious to you for such a trivial reason.”
“Melissa.”
Alan called me in a low voice, but I still had something to say.
“If you did it out of guilt…… If that’s the case, I’d be distressed too……….”
Suddenly, the corners of my eyes felt hot and tears welled up in my eyes. I said with my own mouth that I am not weak, but because my love is so great, I always become weak in front of him.
Then Alan’s hand gently pressed my cheek.
“It can’t be because of guilt.”
“Then—”
“It’s because I love you.”
It was an answer that made me doubt my ears, but I wasn’t wrong. In the end, the tears I had been holding back came pouring out.
“Why…….”
“Why do I love you?”
He was saying something he had never heard before, so calmly. I grabbed the shirt covering his chest with trembling hands.
“……Why are you telling me now?”
I was so nervous because of you who hugs me affectionately but never tell me you love me..….
“Because I’m scared.”
Alan, who said that, laughed self-deprecatingly. Alan, who was arrogantly upright, was trembling silently. Like one afternoon when I said I was going to the kingdom.
“I’m not sure if I deserve to love you…. I thought there was nothing I could do if you didn’t come back. It was scary.”
“Are you stupid?”
I shot back furiously, caressing his cheek as if dealing with the most precious thing in the world.
“I was hoping and hoping that you would tell me you loved me, but what kind of qualifications do you have?”
“I’ve been called stupid twice since I was born, and both are by you.”
Alan’s eyes, responding calmly, suddenly deepened. I know when he has these eyes.
“But it really may be so. Your angry face is so…….”
I felt my cheeks blushing naturally. I’m sure it would be ridiculously red.
Just as he was hoping to say something quickly, Alan, with a low voice said,
“I rather wanted you to be more angry, or rather to punish me. If only that would clear the shadow that lay upon you, and we could return to the ordinary people without any misunderstanding or wandering.”
“…….”
But you have never been an ordinary person to me.
“But Melissa, you only gave love. I thought it would be okay to break down in your arms.”
I was somehow embarrassed by those explicit words that I only gave him love. He couldn’t have known about my passionate heart.
Nevertheless, I mustered up the courage to make eye contact with him. I will say what I have to say by directly looking into his eyes.
“My arms won’t break you. Even if the world turns upside down, that won’t happen. Because I just love you….….”
“…….”
“I just hope you don’t break down because of me.”
After finishing my rambling and awkward confession, I closed my eyes tightly and, contrary to my expectations, a muffled voice came into my ears.
“But I have brought you down before, Melissa.”
“Alan…….”
I answered those words by touching his chest. I hope this one answer is enough.
“Having an unknown man secretly scare me is never a pleasant experience, but it doesn’t break me.”
“Your novel, I burned it. How precious it was to you.”
“Oh, my.”
At the same time, I felt frustrated and undeniable joy. It felt like I was being held in the arms of a boy who was suffering from his first love, and the old Sir Alan had gone.
“Where should I start explaining this?”
After taking a short breath, I decided to speak as calmly as I could.
“I wrote that because I loved you so much and wanted you so badly, but I couldn’t even reach you. But now you have become my lover. Then here’s the question. Do I still need Troy in the novel?”
“…….”
Alan couldn’t answer hastily and just looked at me. He must have thought that “good” Melissa was trying to comfort him by forcefully pretending to be okay.
“And I’m already starting to write a new one. That’s the story I’ve wanted to write my whole life.”
So I spoke with more firmness in my voice.
“If it weren’t for you, this story wouldn’t have even started. That will be my first novel. So please don’t make a sad face. Never forget how many times you saved me. And…….”
“I’m listening.”
I took another short breath. My gaze never strayed from his beautiful eyes.
“Now tell me your story, Alan. I told you I had something to tell you when you got back.”
Then Alan’s elegant lips slowly opened. I was fascinated by that sight.
“This greenhouse garden was planted for you. You said you don’t like roses, but there is a flower that suits you as well as this color and shape.”
“I like, rose…….”
“……Of course, that doesn’t mean other flowers don’t suit you.”
He looked around at the pink heaven surrounding us and smiled at me. He was, indeed, the most beautiful gardener in the world.
“When spring comes, I’m going to plant flowers in my garden. So that every day you’ll spend here feels like a bouquet of flowers. So, Melissa…….”
When he stopped talking, I stopped breathing with him. We looked at each other without even blinking. Like people who couldn’t see anything but each other.
That’s when he said.
“Will you continue to live here? With me.”
“…….”
As I was pondering his words, he added softly, perhaps because he thought I did not understand.
“I want to wake up with you every day. Even if we fight sometimes, I definitely want you to sleep in my arms at night. I want you to keep calling my name. The name Flynn, which is still unfamiliar to me, will soon become familiar if I share it with you…….”
“Ah…….”
“Actually, this is a favour. If you don’t become a beacon to this imperfect life, I’ll sink in a mess. So…….”
As he took a deep breath, his chest heaved like a wave; and at last he said.
“Will you grant me the honor of becoming your husband, my lady?”
“…….”
The moment he kneeled reverently, his eyelashes were wet again. The magic of turning the quiet glass greenhouse into a national theater where a ball to commemorate the victory occurred.
If this was part of the cover up he was talking about, then Alan was probably trying to cover up the memories of that day with new memories. But as I looked at his outstretched hand, my palm naturally began to sweat.
Can such great happiness come to someone like me? Isn’t that too much greed? I felt distant as if I were standing in front of an endless ocean.
“Alan, the ball will end someday. When the ball is over……Then what should we do…”
“Don’t worry, the ball isn’t over as long as we’re dancing.”
Alan smiled brightly without withdrawing his outstretched hand.
“I’ll keep dancing so it never ends. Even until eternity.”
“That’s…… It must be very hard……. My legs will hurt and…….”
“Let’s overcome that pain and suffering together. We can overcome it.”
I burst into tears at that noble conviction and cried like a child.
“Will you marry me? Huh?”
Before I knew it, Alan came again with a sweeter tone.
My right hand and left hand were empty as I was frantically wiping away my tears, and I couldn’t speak anymore because I was choked up. So I had no choice but to nod my head with a lot of tears hanging on me.
Then, smiling like the wind, he stood up and wrapped his arms around me. So hard that it took my breath away.
Instead of twisting my body to get away or pushing him away, I hugged Alan even deeper.
I felt that the empty space in my heart, which I thought could not be filled with anything, was finally filled.
It was truly an amazing feeling. I feel like I’m disqualified as a writer for being able to express it this way, but I now understood the reason why I felt it would have to be him.
(T/N: meaning why she was so obsessed with him and was not able to move on)
We were amazingly tight pieces to each other’s gaps. A life that is completed only because of him and I, and only because of each other. This was the conviction I had hoped for so much while weaving through the ashes of anxiety.
Here, in his eyes.
Then Alan whispered, putting his lips on the back of my neck.
“Winter is over, Melissa.”
And so again, it was the beginning of an eternal kiss. His lips, which were so tightly overlapped with mine, were careful, as if they were asking for forgiveness, as if they were sworn for love. As if they were kissing me for the first time.
In that ecstatic flood of love, Melissa Flynn had this thought;
Tomorrow we will see the most brilliant and dazzling morning sun we have ever seen.
And that the next day we will face together will be the same, and the day after that.
Like a miracle of discovering spring in the middle of winter.
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