Chapter 32: His Inferiority Cannot Resist His Desires |
After the only girl who could regulate the atmosphere was ‘collaboratively’ driven away by them, leaving two men facing each other in place, only a ‘cold and killing’ atmosphere remained.
Moreover, they were still below the girls’ dormitory building, looking out of place enough to make passersby curious.
“It’s not convenient to talk here, is it?”
After a while, Zhi Yu finally spoke, his voice still icy, he glanced at him and turned away, “Let’s go somewhere else.”
Jiang Qi didn’t say anything, just silently followed. He didn’t even suggest going back to the parking lot next to the teahouse to get his own car, but followed Zhi Yu to his car. The man drove an Audi A8, and the car fragrance was a hint of peppermint and lemon, giving off a refreshing chill as soon as you entered.
“I guess you and Zhi Qi have finished dinner.” Zhi Yu wasn’t polite, sitting in the driver’s seat, rolling down the window, and lighting a cigarette—while handing one to Jiang Qi, his sharp eyebrows lightly raised, “Do you smoke?”
Jiang Qi nodded and took it, biting it between his lips.
In fact, he was about the same age as Zhi Qi, both four years younger than Zhi Yu, but he matured early, never experiencing the so-called ‘awkward phase,’ always displaying a fearless and rebellious demeanor in front of anyone, so naturally, there was no generation gap between him and Zhi Yu.
Just because he was Zhi Qi’s older brother, Jiang Qi had always been polite to him.
“It hasn’t been that long.” Zhi Yu smiled, but unfortunately, there was no warmth in the curve of his lips. He looked at Jiang Qi’s profile and said lightly, “In the years you were inside, Qiqi asked me several times to help find out your whereabouts. I knew which prison you were in and even visited… I just didn’t tell her.”
In fact, at that time, he was almost graduating from college, and with his own connections, it was as easy as pie to inquire about Jiang Qi’s whereabouts, but he just lied to Zhi Qi that there was no news. Because Jiang Qi didn’t want Zhi Qi to know where he was, and Zhi Yu also understood this reason. Similarly, he didn’t want his own sister to have any contact with Jiang Qi.
Why should she, who had been cherished and raised as the family’s precious treasure, suffer because of Jiang Qi? If someone doesn’t want to see you, what’s the point of forcing yourself on them?
Zhi Yu didn’t think he was wrong, so he spoke confidently when he brought it up.
Jiang Qi fell silent for a moment, his slightly lowered brows revealing no emotions. After a while, Zhi Yu heard him softly say, “It’s fine.”
He understood Zhi Yu’s actions too well. Not telling Zhi Qi was perfectly normal.
Let alone Zhi Qi’s brother, even he himself felt unworthy of her.
“It’s fine?”
“Do you really think it’s fine?” Zhi Yu couldn’t help but laugh, with a hint of irony, “If you really think so, then why are you involved with Qiqi again now?”
This was like a blow to the heart, and Jiang Qi couldn’t help but clench his fingers for a moment, his pale lips turning even paler.
Because he felt guilty, Jiang Qi couldn’t explain his ugly behavior, because he really couldn’t control his closeness to Zhi Qi—especially when he knew he wasn’t worthy. Zhi Yu’s words were simply cutting.
Seeing the conflicted emotions on the young man’s face, Zhi Yu turned away, a moment of pity flashing in his eyes. In fact, many things about Zhi Qi were kept secret from adults, without understanding the cause and effect, but he knew everything about the young man clearly.
Zhi Yu knew about Jiang Qi’s family background, childhood traumas, and the reasons behind the past shadows and prison experiences…
But precisely because he knew everything so well, he understood that Jiang Qi was not someone to rely on. Zhi Yu insisted on his viewpoint, believing that Jiang Qi was a ‘dangerous individual’—so how could he be at ease letting his beloved sister mingle with such a person?
After a moment of dead silence, Zhi Yu flicked the ash off his cigarette with his slender fingertips, sounding somewhat regretful as he asked, “I probably don’t need to ask how you are now, but how were you in the past few years?”
How were you? Life in prison, could it possibly be good?
Jiang Qi wasn’t exactly a mild-mannered person. His words carried a hint of disdainful weariness as he retorted, “Since you know where I was, you should also know what kind of person I was inside.”
In fact, the years in prison were ones that Jiang Qi preferred not to remember.
Perhaps in movies or TV dramas, there might occasionally be some ‘heartwarming’ scenes in prison, but the reality of life behind bars was cold and brutal.
Just as Zhi Yu had previously said to Zhi Qi—the place of prison was the dirtiest place in the world, gathering all the ugly souls, demons and monsters, with no limits, no boundaries, because there was no ‘morality’ there. Everyone fought there with enough ruthlessness, only by surviving with bloodshed could they protect what they cared about.
For example, in the first month Jiang Qi went in, he realized that many people ‘coveted’ him.
At first, he found it unreasonable and couldn’t help but laugh, but later he realized that this was actually quite common in prison.
No women? What to do then? They could only find pleasure with men, especially someone like him, who had a good appearance. When Jiang Qi entered prison, no matter who looked at him, he seemed like a lamb thrown into a wolf’s den.
Unfortunately, those who truly regarded Jiang Qi as a ‘lamb’ later found out they were wrong.
Jiang Qi remembered the first time someone tried to touch him inappropriately and spoke ambiguously to him was in winter, when they were being forced by the prison guards to clear dried grass outside with shovels. The man’s icy cold hand touched his neck, and his own carotid artery seemed to pulsate faintly with blood.
Jiang Qi’s face was gloomy as he tightened his grip on the shovel in his hand and mercilessly struck the man’s shin!
Amidst the latter’s screams of agony as he fell to the ground, Jiang Qi stomped heavily on his face.
“Wanna mess with me?” His expression seemed to be covered with a layer of ice, colder than the bitter January sky. Jiang Qi looked down at the man writhing on the ground, his face swollen and bruised from the stomping. Some emotion seemed to trigger the switch of the violent factor within him. The look on the youth’s face was almost ruthless: “Go to hell.”
Later, it was the prison guards who pulled him away.
Unconsciously, Jiang Qi had already broken the man’s leg bone, and he almost used the shovel to cripple the man who had attempted to assault him before, but it was only due to his minor status that he wasn’t given an additional sentence. He just unavoidably received five strikes from the baton as punishment for “prison brawl”.
At that time, he had just turned seventeen, his slender body not yet fully mature. After the five baton strikes, he almost lay on the sickbed for a week.
Because the force of the baton hitting his back was actually heavier than the cold shovel.
But Jiang Qi didn’t regret it, he even felt that the few blows were quite worth it. Because after a week, when he returned to the prison “dormitory”, those ambiguous gazes that had once coveted him seemed to be tinged with fear.
That’s just how Jiang Qi’s life creed has always been.
—He would rather have everyone fear him than allow anyone to bully him at will.
Because people only bully the weak and fear the strong. So, inevitably, when such things happen later, Jiang Qi will only choose this violent way to solve them. Fighting with the convicts in the labor camp, even fighting with the “bosses”, being reprimanded by the prison guards… he was covered in bruises every day.
Even if everyone said he was like a mad dog, not understanding the art of “flexibility”.
Huh, exchanging peace for flattery and yielding with his body? Jiang Qi would rather not have that kind of life.
So, let him be a sick dog.
When he left the prison, Jiang Qi actually had more wounds on his body in these four years than what Jiang Quan had “given” him in the previous dozen years.
However, regardless, his mind was free, for Jiang Qi knew that these were the demons and ghosts, the troubled spirits that he could rid himself of once the time limit arrived.
Unlike before, when Jiang Quan’s hatred was ingrained in his bones, tormenting him day and night…
Fortunately, none of that remained now. But the price he paid for this was becoming an ordinary person in society, an existence that was both incomprehensible and greatly detested. Just like how normal people wouldn’t like someone who had been to prison. Zhi Yu didn’t like how normal he had become, and Jiang Qi understood that very well. But asking him to leave Zhi Qi was a bit difficult.
“Maybe I’m a bit despicable. I know I’m not worthy of her, but…” Jiang Qi admitted very soberly, pausing for a moment. The slight curve at the corner of his lips carried a palpable bitterness as he said, “But I don’t want to be far away from her.”
He had tried before, but failed.
If he could only watch Zhi Qi from afar, unable to get close to her or talk to her, he couldn’t bear it.
Zhi Yu looked at the desolate profile of the young man, furrowing his brows as he was about to speak, but the untimely buzzing of a cellphone in his pocket interrupted.
He cursed inwardly and, feeling somewhat agitated, picked it up to check. Sure enough, the message was from Zhi Qi: [Bro, if you bully Jiang Qi, I’ll never talk to you again!]
…
This hopeless girl even used an exclamation mark to express her anger.
Was it her business to meddle like this? Damn, who was he worrying about?
Suppressing the urge to immediately call and scold Zhi Qi, Zhi Yu casually pocketed his phone as if nothing had happened.
“You’re useless.” The man turned away, deliberately avoiding looking at Jiang Qi’s face, and said indifferently, looking ahead, “I know Qiqi likes you, but our family won’t agree to your relationship.”
Zhi Yu’s main point was that as ‘elders,’ they wouldn’t agree, so she came to warn Jiang Qi specifically. But Jiang Qi’s focus after hearing this sentence was on ‘I know Qiqi likes you.’ Suddenly, his mind exploded with colorful fireworks, and his heart blossomed with joy.
Zhi Qi liked him, she really liked him.
So he would definitely strive for it. He would resume his studies, earn qualifications, start from the same starting line as others, work hard to earn a lot of money, and make himself worthy of Zhi Qi…
Walking alone on the road after leaving Zhi Yu’s car, many crazy thoughts kept swirling in his mind.
Jiang Qi knew he couldn’t restrain himself because his desire overpowered his inferiority complex.
From Lan University to the teahouse, it would take almost half an hour to walk with Zhi Qi, but he only needed ten minutes by himself. Jiang Qi turned on the phone he had been keeping off in the corner of the car, and suddenly a large number of messages flooded in, almost causing the phone to crash instantly.
…
Jiang Qi frowned, mercilessly deleting these messy messages with one keystroke.
Then Zhi Qi’s call came through, and Jiang Qi answered hurriedly.
“Why did you turn off your phone just now? You scared me.” The soft and clear voice of the little girl echoed loudly in the carriage, and she asked anxiously, “I just texted my brother, and he didn’t respond. Jiang Qi, he didn’t trouble you, did he?”
Jiang Qi knew the girl couldn’t see, but he still subconsciously shook his head, being very obedient, “No.”
“That’s good.” Zhi Qi visibly breathed a sigh of relief.
“Qiqi.” Jiang Qi paused for a moment and asked, “If I have time, can I come see you?”
“Huh? Are you coming to our school? It will attract attention, right?” The two of them tacitly skipped over the topic of ‘Zhi Yu,’ and Zhi Qi smiled, “Or should I come see you?”
Jiang Qi fell silent.
Actually, he understood in his heart that what the girl said was right, but he couldn’t help feeling useless if he always let Zhi Qi come to see him…
Jiang Qi couldn’t help but think, was he acting like a pursuer?
Although he didn’t dare to openly declare it yet, he wanted to pursue Zhi Qi, and it would be best to keep the little girl ‘bound’ to him. Once this twisted thought took root, it was like a wild weed sprouting in spring, relentless and unending.
“Qiqi, can you come over the day after tomorrow?” Jiang Qi thought of that trophy again, the Best Actor award he had received but hadn’t had the chance to give to her. He wanted to do something, so he said, “I have a gift for you.”
“Hmm?” Zhi Qi curiously asked on the other end, “What gift?”
There was a silent smile in Jiang Qi’s eyes, and he didn’t answer.
“Oh, you’ve learned to be mysterious too.” Zhi Qi couldn’t help but chuckle, “Well, see you the day after tomorrow.”
Actually, she also understood in her heart that Jiang Qi deliberately wanted her to come see him—what mattered more to her—but she wasn’t particularly looking forward to the gift or anything like that.
Before hanging up, Jiang Qi stopped her again, “Qiqi… Good night.”
He hesitated, actually there was something he hadn’t told Zhi Qi just now.
Just now, Jiang Qi discovered the hardest thing for him in this world.
—It wasn’t the hardships of life or the pain of injuries, but being away from her.
