2 months ago
Tales From the Terran Republic by SlightlyAmusing
We tried, you know…
We really did.
We tried so hard to be… better…
We actually were better once. No, seriously. We were enlightened, generous, peaceful…
Stop laughing! We were! We were peaceful, dammit!
No, I’m not “tugging your winglets.” It’s true!
Look, if you’re going to be like that, I’ll just push the launch button right now. See ya, don’t wanna be…
Oh, you ARE interested after all? Ok.
Hey, I just got word that your captain will be ok. We were able to get him into a med pod quick enough… Of course, we tried to save him. Just what sort of people do you think we are?...
Now that was harsh… completely accurate, mind you… but harsh.
Anyway, like I was saying, we were a prosperous, peaceful people, and war had been nothing but a distant memory for over five hundred years before it happened...
Before Yellowstone happened! You don’t mean to tell me that you didn’t know about that… Massive supervolcano? Blew the Hell out of our planet? Two years where nothing grew?…
Anyway, that’s what started it, the Sol Wars…
Oh, you have heard about those, huh? Well, needless to say, all that enlightened, generous, and peaceful didn’t exactly make it through that. Maybe it’s more accurate to say the enlightened, generous, and peaceful among us didn’t survive…
(laughs)… You’re right. It does explain a lot, doesn’t it?
Probably for the best, though. “Enlightened” and “peaceful” aren’t really all that useful out here in the galaxy, are they? We're not the only jerks out here. We aren't the worst ones, either, not by a long shot.
That reminds me, thanks for the ship. It's really nice. Oh, don’t be like that. At least it was us what got you and not one of the really messed groups like the Harlequin or the Black Angels. We’re just going to take your shit. It could be worse… trust me...
Well, anyway, we loaded the life pods down with some good food, and you guys can drink alcohol, right? We put in a couple of fifths in there, too. It’s about forty percent ethanol, so be warned. We’ll drop your wounded off somewhere safe once they are stable.
Your fleet patrols this area fairly regularly, and we’ll drop the distress beacon right before we jump…
Well, It’s been fun and no hard feelings, right?…
Oh, you want to know some more? Sure. I got time to kill…
***
It’s the thirty-second century, and humanity is now part of a galactic civilization comprised of hundreds of worlds. Humanity has been savaged by natural disaster and war and has been fractured into several separate populations, all of which loathe each other (some things never change). This is a gritty drama-driven rambling tale that swings between action, drama, horror, and plenty of very, very dark comedy.
Warning: contains adult situations, absolutely horrible language, bathroom humor, implied ultra-violence, actual ultra-violence, drugs, alcohol, pirates, mercs, xeno prostitutes, moral ambiguity, deranged AI's with identity issues, giant commie space slugs, and a poor little frog girl who just wants to sell coffee.
Updated daily (more or less) until I can catch Royal Road up to the original posts (which are still ongoing).
***
Disclaimer:
Those warning tags on top? Yeah... They aren't for show. This story can get pretty dark. It's not a "grimdark" slog through gore, but it does have its moments. I don' t pull punches and some heavy, contentious issues are involved sometimes. Please bear in mind that this is a work of fiction and just because a character, even a main or sympathetic one, does something or endorses something, the author is NOT endorsing it. (I'm a decent human being. I promise!)
The main rule of this tale is, "no good guys". It's less "good versus evil" and more "bad people doing bad things to worse people".
Pick your favorite rogue, kick back, and enjoy the show! Collapse
We really did.
We tried so hard to be… better…
We actually were better once. No, seriously. We were enlightened, generous, peaceful…
Stop laughing! We were! We were peaceful, dammit!
No, I’m not “tugging your winglets.” It’s true!
Look, if you’re going to be like that, I’ll just push the launch button right now. See ya, don’t wanna be…
Oh, you ARE interested after all? Ok.
Hey, I just got word that your captain will be ok. We were able to get him into a med pod quick enough… Of course, we tried to save him. Just what sort of people do you think we are?...
Now that was harsh… completely accurate, mind you… but harsh.
Anyway, like I was saying, we were a prosperous, peaceful people, and war had been nothing but a distant memory for over five hundred years before it happened...
Before Yellowstone happened! You don’t mean to tell me that you didn’t know about that… Massive supervolcano? Blew the Hell out of our planet? Two years where nothing grew?…
Anyway, that’s what started it, the Sol Wars…
Oh, you have heard about those, huh? Well, needless to say, all that enlightened, generous, and peaceful didn’t exactly make it through that. Maybe it’s more accurate to say the enlightened, generous, and peaceful among us didn’t survive…
(laughs)… You’re right. It does explain a lot, doesn’t it?
Probably for the best, though. “Enlightened” and “peaceful” aren’t really all that useful out here in the galaxy, are they? We're not the only jerks out here. We aren't the worst ones, either, not by a long shot.
That reminds me, thanks for the ship. It's really nice. Oh, don’t be like that. At least it was us what got you and not one of the really messed groups like the Harlequin or the Black Angels. We’re just going to take your shit. It could be worse… trust me...
Well, anyway, we loaded the life pods down with some good food, and you guys can drink alcohol, right? We put in a couple of fifths in there, too. It’s about forty percent ethanol, so be warned. We’ll drop your wounded off somewhere safe once they are stable.
Your fleet patrols this area fairly regularly, and we’ll drop the distress beacon right before we jump…
Well, It’s been fun and no hard feelings, right?…
Oh, you want to know some more? Sure. I got time to kill…
***
It’s the thirty-second century, and humanity is now part of a galactic civilization comprised of hundreds of worlds. Humanity has been savaged by natural disaster and war and has been fractured into several separate populations, all of which loathe each other (some things never change). This is a gritty drama-driven rambling tale that swings between action, drama, horror, and plenty of very, very dark comedy.
Warning: contains adult situations, absolutely horrible language, bathroom humor, implied ultra-violence, actual ultra-violence, drugs, alcohol, pirates, mercs, xeno prostitutes, moral ambiguity, deranged AI's with identity issues, giant commie space slugs, and a poor little frog girl who just wants to sell coffee.
Updated daily (more or less) until I can catch Royal Road up to the original posts (which are still ongoing).
***
Disclaimer:
Those warning tags on top? Yeah... They aren't for show. This story can get pretty dark. It's not a "grimdark" slog through gore, but it does have its moments. I don' t pull punches and some heavy, contentious issues are involved sometimes. Please bear in mind that this is a work of fiction and just because a character, even a main or sympathetic one, does something or endorses something, the author is NOT endorsing it. (I'm a decent human being. I promise!)
The main rule of this tale is, "no good guys". It's less "good versus evil" and more "bad people doing bad things to worse people".
Pick your favorite rogue, kick back, and enjoy the show! Collapse
- Status in COO: Ongoing
- Total written: 300+ chapters
- Available: 319 chapters
- Year of publishing: 2022
- Language: English
- Authors: SlightlyAmusing
- Publishers: RoyalRoad
- Views: 13 739
- Total views: 45 630
- Comments: 16
- Total comments: 7
Last 25 chapters
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Chapter The Asscrack Just Because 2 months ago
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Chapter Taking a Dive (1) 3 months ago
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Chapter Analytica Awakes 4 months ago
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Chapter The Void Hits the Fan 4 months ago
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Chapter Susan Ascendent 6 months ago
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Chapter Premium Organic Bespoke Hand Crafted Sh*tpost 6 months ago
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Chapter Breaking Point 6 months ago
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Chapter Gwen, a Nerd, and Mister Sticky: A Holiday Special! 6 months ago
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Chapter Enclaves: Kras 7 months ago
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Chapter All Fair When Love War 8 months ago
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Chapter Stankworld: Alan and Grace Make a Movie 8 months ago
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Chapter Favors and Family II 9 months ago
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Chapter Favors and Family I 9 months ago
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Chapter Humanity's Golden Rule 9 months ago
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Chapter Stankworld 10: The Ancestor Spills the Tea 10 months ago
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Chapter Stankworld 9: All Aboard! 10 months ago
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Chapter Stankworld 8, Freefall 11 months ago
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Chapter Stankworld 7: The Unlubed "Rod" of Consequences 11 months ago
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Chapter 299: Trey and Tara in the Morning 11 months ago
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Chapter 298: Stankworld 6 The Ballad of Villainy 11 months ago
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Chapter 297: Stankworld 5, The World According to Raiders 1 year ago
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Chapter 296: Stankworld (4) 1 year ago
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Chapter 295: Stankworld Pt 3 1 year ago
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Chapter Retcon Condition One! 1 year ago
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Chapter 293: Buying Trouble: Stankworld Pt 2 1 year ago
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