Chapter 2: The Love Guru Guanhai |
Yang Haoran's sudden enthusiasm didn't surprise the man; instead, he casually plopped down on the chair beneath him.
As soon as he sat down, the man bounced up, discontentedly remarking to Yang Haoran, "So hot, you're really something, got hemorrhoids? Is it contagious?"
Normally, Yang Haoran would have sarcastically retorted to the man's words, but now, not only did he not tease the man, he enthusiastically pulled out a cushion and placed it on the chair, saying, "Hehe, look at me, always so careless. I should have thought of this problem but overlooked it because of your arrival."
The man chuckled, not pointing it out, then contentedly sat back down, crossing his legs and leisurely smoking a cigarette.
The man's name was Guanhai, self-proclaimed Love Guru, one of Yang Haoran's friends in this city. He was twenty-five years old, five years younger than Yang Haoran. This guy, for some reason or another, possessed a naturally handsome face and a charming personality, especially in front of women. His words flowed like a machine gun, shooting not bullets but arrows of Cupid, making girls swoon with admiration. Coupled with his naturally handsome face, he was quite popular with girls.
However, Guanhai was quite fickle. From the time Yang Haoran met him till now, he couldn't recall how many girlfriends Guanhai had gone through. What was infuriating was that these girls still flocked to Guanhai's embrace like moths to a flame.
Almost every girl who dated Guanhai knew of his glorious record in the field of romance. When Guanhai was absent, they would curse him gleefully, wishing to rid themselves of this scumbag, this social parasite, and vowed never to have any dealings with such a scumbag again.
However, the reality was that once these girls got involved with Guanhai, they fell head over heels in love, willing to give their hearts to him. Some girls, in order to be with Guanhai forever, even threatened him with their lives, whether by threatening to jump off a building, cutting their wrists, or even drinking pesticides. All of this seemed melodramatic to Yang Haoran, but it made him both envious and resentful.
Compared to Guanhai, Yang Haoran's appearance and physique were mediocre at best. He couldn't hold a candle to Guanhai, which was a sore point. The term "tall, rich, and handsome" applied to Guanhai except for the "rich" part, whereas Yang Haoran couldn't even boast of a single one of those qualities.
The women around Guanhai were willing to spend money on him, willing to support him. In Yang Haoran's eyes, this was utterly shameful, but he had to admit it was also Guanhai's skill. Not every man could achieve this.
Moreover, what was the difference between being a charlatan and deceiving people and being a scumbag? Both of them were birds of a feather, so where did they get the right to criticize each other?
Birds of a feather flock together. The reason why the two became good friends was not simply due to fate but because their personalities clicked, and they were both broke.
At this moment, Guanhai lounged arrogantly in his chair, legs crossed, smoking leisurely, while Yang Haoran fetched a bottle of "Macho" brand functional beverage from the shelf and handed it to Guanhai with a grin, saying, "Macho brand, the more you drink, the more macho you become. Your favorite."
Guanhai shook his head, not accepting the beverage Yang Haoran offered. He solemnly said, "I heard drinking this kind of beverage too much can lead to functional problems, so I quit."
Hearing this, Yang Haoran chuckled and said, "They say cell phone radiation is significant. Why do you put your phone in your trouser pocket instead of your shirt pocket? If you get radiation mutation, who knows if it's good or bad?"
Though teasing, Yang Haoran withdrew the "Macho" brand functional beverage and handed Guanhai a bottle of mineral water instead.
Guanhai took the mineral water and instead of getting angry at Yang Haoran's words, he smiled at him with an expression that said, "I know what you're up to," and said, "Your driving speed is getting faster. Slow down; I can barely keep up."
At these words, the two exchanged a smile, understanding each other without speaking.
After Guanhai unscrewed the bottle cap and took a sip of water, Yang Haoran rubbed his hands together, ingratiatingly smiled, and asked, "Do you want another cigarette?"
Guanhai gave Yang Haoran a look and said, "Treating guests but not killing chickens. You didn't even take out a cigarette; it's obvious you don't want to offer me another one. In this situation, should I say yes or no?"
"Ah!" Yang Haoran slapped his thigh suddenly, as if just waking up, and hastily apologized, "Look at me, so negligent of details, I didn't even notice."
With that, Yang Haoran immediately took out another cigarette from the pack and pretended to offer it to Guanhai with both hands.
"Get lost, we're not strangers. Stop pretending in front of me, let's get down to business," Guanhai laughed and scolded, refusing to take the cigarette Yang Haoran offered.
Yang Haoran chuckled and naturally placed the cigarette into his own mouth, lighting it and taking a deep drag.
Amidst the smoke, Guanhai explained the details of the business to Yang Haoran.
It turned out that one of Guanhai's friends had recently bought a house in Lecheng, spending hundreds of thousands of New Genesis Coins. Now that the house was renovated and ready for occupancy, it could have been moved into directly. However, Guanhai's friend, being superstitious, forgot to consult a Feng Shui master before buying the house. Now he wanted to make up for it afterwards so he could feel at ease living there.
Upon learning of this, Guanhai immediately took on the task for Yang Haoran. He praised Yang Haoran fiercely in front of his friend, exaggerating Yang Haoran's skills as a master, claiming he could predict fortunes, read Feng Shui, exorcise demons, understand Yin and Yang, know life and death, and was incredibly awesome. His friend got excited upon hearing this and earnestly asked Guanhai to trouble Yang Haoran to visit his home.
Of course, Guanhai had no reason to refuse his friend's request. He assured him that there would be no problem and immediately came to see Yang Haoran.
Although this matter could have been discussed over the phone, Guanhai decided to come in person. There wasn't any other reason; mainly, he was too idle. He didn't have a job, just indulged in eating, drinking, and having fun on weekdays. Since he didn't have any plans with his card-playing friends today, he simply decided to make this trip himself.
After understanding the situation, Yang Haoran didn't hesitate. He quickly ran behind the green curtain and emerged a moment later, with a yellow cloth bag slung over his shoulder. The front of the bag was sewn with a Tai Chi symbol, and the back with a Bagua, making it quite conspicuous.
This bag was Yang Haoran's tool of the trade—or rather, his ghost-catching tool. It bulged with various items, indicating it was filled with many things.
"Let's go, since he's your friend, I'll make time to go even if I'm busy. I can't let you lose face. You quickly call him and say Master Yang will be there shortly. Tell him not to panic; I've got everything under control," Yang Haoran rushed out, carrying the bag, and said to Guanhai in a hurry.
Watching Yang Haoran, who was pretending to be serious, Guanhai couldn't help but laugh dumbfoundedly. "Thank you, Master Yang, for giving your brother such a big favor. But I really can't see where you're busy, and..."
Guanhai pointed to the green curtain fabric and chuckled, "And can you change the color of this modesty cloth? It's all green; doesn't it make you feel uneasy?"
Yang Haoran didn't directly answer Guanhai's question. Instead, he pulled down the curtain while casually saying, "It's not just a modesty cloth; it's also a beautiful landscape in my life."
As the curtain rattled shut, Guanhai teased with a smile, "Your mouth is getting more and more venomous. You're even targeting yourself now. You're really ruthless."
[Tl: Green color is associated with a man being cuckolded.]
Yang Haoran smiled without answering Guanhai's question. After locking the curtain, he stepped into Guanhai's car.
Guanhai's car was quite good, worth over three hundred thousand New Genesis Coins. Of course, this broke-ass Guanhai couldn't afford that much money. This car was given to him by his ex-girlfriend on his birthday.
Who knows what Guanhai did to that girl? Even after breaking up, this beautiful and wealthy girl still couldn't forget Guanhai. Not only did she not ask for the car back, but she also bought Guanhai many branded clothes afterwards. Even after the breakup, she didn't think Guanhai was a scumbag. Instead, she took all the blame upon herself, saying it was her fault and she had let Guanhai down. If Guanhai could change his mind, she would be willing to exchange everything she had for him.
When Yang Haoran accidentally met this girl not long ago and heard her say this, he almost fainted with anger. This woman, once she gets stupid, she's really stupid.
Sitting in Guanhai's car, Yang Haoran couldn't help but feel emotional. Why was there such a big gap between people? Both of them were broke-asses, so why did Guanhai live so luxuriously? Even if this luxury was only superficial, it still felt good sometimes, didn't it?
Actually, Yang Haoran didn't need to think about the answer to this question. Guanhai lived more comfortably because of his damn configuration. From birth, he wasn't as well-equipped in terms of looks as Guanhai. Guanhai was high-spec; he was low-spec, which was hurtful but real.
However, when it came to the mouth, Yang Haoran was quite confident in himself. Whether in terms of speed or skill, he believed he wouldn't lose to Guanhai. If given the chance, he even wanted to compete with Guanhai!
Of course, this so-called mouth skill referred to speaking, how to speak, what to say to whom, how to control one's speech rate, how to master techniques, etc. As Yang Haoran sighed, he almost went astray in his thoughts.
