Chapter 53 |
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‘We shouldn’t let that guy see us as weak.’
Lee Jaehun’s wounded pride was a problem, but the bigger issue lay in Detective Hong Kyungjun’s nature. Detective Hong sometimes did strange things without warning.
For example, he almost imprisoned and monitored a severely injured kindergarten teacher. While he meant no harm and tried to offer some form of protection, the teacher understandably felt oppressed.
‘Detective Hong himself may not realize it, but… he can be quite controlling.’
Even if his intentions were for the greater good, Lee Jaehun’s colleague, Jung Inho, didn’t view his actions favorably. Especially when Detective Hong subtly discriminated and distrusted people based on his intuition, it exacerbated the situation.
‘They won’t survive easily.’
“Just saying ‘that would be good’ doesn’t really make sense to me. I’ve rarely seen someone injured to the level of a teacher in my life.”
“…Your life as a detective… seems quite comfortable.”
“If you think so, feel free. But can you just ignore someone in need like this?”
With his carefully planned strategy now in shambles, Lee Jaehun was supposed to be labeled as a ‘tough but potential murderer.’ It might sound like nonsense and a spineless concept, but survival knows no pride.
If the concept worked well, he could gain numerous advantages. By projecting toughness, Lee Jaehun would keep Detective Hong cautious, relieving the protagonist’s mental stress.
“I have colleagues too, why should I follow someone I barely know? Isn’t it unrealistic to demand blind trust in such a situation?”
“I’m not sure if those companions are trustworthy. Are they as injured as the teacher? I don’t think so.”
“Your assumptions are… too… severe. Are you blaming my companions based on your gut feeling?”
“It’s not blame, just objective judgment. It seems that, except for you, the others are fine, judging by their reactions.”
“This is…”
Perhaps the protagonist, before returning, might have lost some hair from the frustration of being wrongly suspected by the detective. Seeing Detective Hong’s baseless suspicions now made him indirectly feel that frustration.
‘Anyway, if it goes like this, I can… neutralize the image that’s built up.’
Despite unexpectedly gaining the title of a sacrificial and good adult, there was a problem in the ‘sacrificial’ part. By portraying himself as neutral, Lee Jaehun could safely lower his overly idealized image and gain more freedom in his actions.
‘Being neutral is crucial.’
What he wanted was to be seen as ‘someone tough who hasn’t done anything wrong and doesn’t look like the serial killer they’re searching for.’
“If you chose to sacrifice yourself, it doesn’t look good from a detective’s perspective. Should I consider you mentally unstable?”
“I’m not an alcoholic, not too old, and I don’t have autism or intellectual disabilities. Mental instability is a legal term, and you’re judging me without evidence, which is quite annoying.”
“…It sounds like I’m being labeled as crazy. I don’t feel like cooperating anymore.”
“…So you’re not denying it?”
“I mean, what do you want me to do, exactly? I’m already exhausted to death.”
“You seem anxious. It seems like you slipped away without telling your companions. Why not inform them of your condition? Does that mean you don’t trust them enough?”
“I do trust them. I’ve noticed you’ve been criticizing and judging my companions without reason. That doesn’t look good on your part.”
While Detective Hong Kyungjun had some unsettling qualities, he was still a character who aimed for justice alongside the protagonist. Being a dedicated police officer, he couldn’t just overlook Lee Jaehun’s dire condition.
Nevertheless, Lee Jaehun couldn’t help but voice his thoughts amidst the persistent urge to prevent himself from being seen as weak.
“I appreciate your willingness to help, but… I can handle it myself.”
However, his attempts to induce avoidance didn’t work.
“It seems like you’re intentionally being rude. Do you want me to leave? I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.”
No matter how much he pleaded…
“Why…? Why are you doing this? I already said I don’t need you. I’m really exhausted. Was it so difficult to just go where I can’t see you?”
“You’re quite skilled at changing expressions.”
Even pretending to plead didn’t work…
“Seriously…”
It was disheartening.
‘What did I do wrong to deserve this?’
Apart from the personality he retained from his past life, he was also overwhelmed by primal fears that haunted him. The vast difference in norms between this world and his previous one only added to his distress.
Honestly, Lee Jaehun had been under tremendous stress. Having to redo the damn survival game in this world was beyond frustrating. Unable to rest even in death, he had to endure constant mental and emotional strain, facing annoying chicks and dealing with unforeseen characters. For Lee Jaehun, whose previous life itself was a trauma, there couldn’t be a more agonizing world.
He was an adult entitled to his own opinions and should be free as a democratic citizen. The constant surveillance and being treated like a lunatic for speaking his mind in such a different world were driving him insane.
And at this point, Lee Jaehun’s thoughts shifted.
‘Someday, I’ll break them all.’
All the sorrow, exhaustion, and fatigue he felt were because of those annoying chicks.
Except for me, everyone should just go. Once I have a certain path in mind, I’ll definitely play mind games to break their spirits. With meticulous and serious precision, I’ll dismantle their minds, layer by layer, like a loan shark collecting overdue debts.
With that thought, his mind cleared in an instant, and he regained his composure. It seemed that blaming others was the best way to manage his mental state after all.
With his composure regained, Lee Jaehun spoke up without further delay.
“Well, I do need help, but…”
“…?”
“The timing is just really bad.”
With that, he smoothly wiped the expression off his face.
“It would have been better if you just left.”
The sudden change in tone and expression made the other person momentarily startled.
With such extreme changes reminiscent of a split personality, Detective Hong Kyungjun, who had a keen intuition more than anyone else, might have felt a strange chill by now. Considering Lee Jaehun himself had recalled his past life, he was an immensely disturbed individual whom Detective Hong would have been cautious of from the start.
‘Honestly, it’s strangely limited reaction for something like that…’
While feeling a slight discomfort, Lee Jaehun managed his expression. He wondered why the other person didn’t show as much caution as expected, but for now, getting rid of this annoying presence in front of him was the priority.
He spoke, feeling the weight of the air change.
“I don’t think you’ll be going alone.”
“…I have companions too. I was going to bring the teacher over to your side.”
“Oh, companions.”
Lee Jaehun tilted his head, artificially bringing up the subject. It was never his intention to use this connection he’d made, but he had no choice if he wanted to safely navigate this exhausting situation.
He spoke with a measured tone.
“Because you’re a police officer… Is it Constable Kim Yeonwoo by any chance?”
“….”
Detective Hong Kyungjun was briefly taken aback but quickly regained his composure. There was a high probability that he had already heard about Lee Jaehun from Constable Kim Yeonwoo, whom he had likely met.
“By any chance, Lee Jaehun-ssi…?”
“Yes, that’s me.”
“…This morning, my companions received help from you. I want to express my gratitude.”
“I should be the one thanking you as well. Please convey my thanks for saving me.”
“….”
Detective Hong asked.
“…Have you ever heard someone say you seem to have a split personality?”
“A few times.”
“Your demeanor just now was so different. I apologize if it was an intrusive question.”
“No need to apologize.”
Lee Jaehun, with an expressionless face, wiped the blood from his mouth with his hand as he spoke.
“Nothing seems to work, no matter what I do… So there’s nothing I can do.”
“….”
“Are you listening? I’m fine.”
He chuckled lightly.
“I’m not saying my physical condition is okay, but everything is going the way I want.”
Lee Jaehun adjusted his plan.
Even though the other person seemed to have surpassed common sense and acted like a lunatic, Detective Hong Kyungjun was a good person. Facing him, Lee Jaehun had to modify his approach to avoid being seen as a weakling who needed protection.
So, Lee Jaehun had to modify his approach.
‘A mentally disturbed person due to the alternate world.’
It was the persona he had created first when he recalled his past life, and since he had already used it in front of the protagonist and the doctor, it was a decent choice. In this case, although he had to endure sympathy, Lee Jaehun could get what he wanted.
For now, he could maintain some of the assertiveness required by the original plan. Essentially, those who were mentally disturbed but could still communicate were always burdened with potential danger. Detective Hong Kyungjun, who had experienced numerous criminal cases and seen various mentally disturbed individuals, would not foolishly provoke Lee Jaehun by trying to oppress him as if he were a kindergarten teacher.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t quite understand. Are you really Lee Jaehun?”
“I don’t know how many times I have to say it, but yes, I am. I don’t have a split personality. I’m not some monster pretending to be ‘Lee Jaehun.'”
“….”
“I’ve never changed once, Detective.”
Yet, despite this, Lee Jaehun was both articulate and, though not currently visible, potentially quite useful.
Furthermore, his disregard for his own safety might eventually make him exploitable as a labor force. Of course, if it became severe, Lee Jaehun would turn a blind eye to everything and simply retreat, but still…
Moreover, his nature wasn’t inherently bad. His being this way was all due to the misconceptions instilled by the alternate world, so Lee Jaehun’s nature, unaware of what was wrong, couldn’t be deemed particularly bad. With the precedent of his accumulated actions to avoid excessive caution, his persuasion was sufficient. Detective Hong would hesitate now, but later, once the bait was taken, he would likely go along with it.
Lee Jaehun thought to himself:
‘Of course, this isn’t without its problems.’
The reason he hadn’t intended to use this concept from the start was the problem of not being able to easily dismiss his opponent.
Since Lee Jaehun could communicate and form basic relationships, naturally, the detective would become curious as to why he ended up like this. Yet, asking Lee Jaehun directly wouldn’t yield an answer, so it made sense to ask someone else who knew the reason. In this case, with very few people knowing about Lee Jaehun’s past, if Detective Hong learned about it…
He would likely become one of the ‘protagonist’s team’.
“If you’ve never changed… can it be interpreted as intentional?”
“What do you mean?”
“To be honest, you don’t seem like the same person. But since you claim it’s all you…. Did you fabricate it? Your expressions, your tone…”
“….”
“I’m sorry, I can’t provide a proper explanation either. This situation is new to me.”
Detective Hong is a leader figure in the team of survivors.
Whatever he becomes, as long as he’s somewhat within the protagonist’s realm, Lee Jaehun couldn’t just let anyone in the team die. At least, that’s how he sees it now.
“I understand.”
But death in the alternate world is a big loss.
Survivors’ trauma can improve their condition, but it’s all relative to the situation.
Just as Lee Jaehun didn’t hear the sound of the spider monster at work, those who were already mentally disturbed often adapt easier to the alternate world. It’s like drawing a black apple on black paper; it’s not very noticeable.
In this alternate world, mentality is crucial. The more negative the thoughts, the more one can accomplish. But this is only effective when the state can be utilized. Currently, the team consisted entirely of chicks. To put it realistically, it’s like substance abuse. If used properly, it can be helpful, but if you don’t know how to use it and use too much, it becomes poison.
Of course, it’s not just about being helpful like a drug; it’s an exchange of comfort and mental security, but…
“I didn’t want to seem like a lunatic.”
“….”
“It’s always like this.”
In any case, the concept that ordinary people view most extremely is death, and this too undergoes a significant change when internalized. Lee Jaehun had considered this point throughout, ensuring that none of the team members died. But if the scope of that team were to widen, Lee Jaehun would have to save even more people.
That would be troublesome, and on the other hand, he’d feel a strong urge to simply kill them off and end things on a trivial note…
“So, everything goes as you wish?”
“Though it might not seem that way, it’s quite a favorable situation.”
Unless he erased the other’s memories, Lee Jaehun couldn’t change the perception of being weak, so he couldn’t just stick to his initial concept. He needed something to overcome the penalty of being considered ‘weak’.
His greatest strength was his quick acceptance and resignation.
“I may not have achieved everything I wanted, but… at least I don’t think this current state is bad.”
“Why…”
To gain even the slightest benefit, he had to quickly discard the initial plan and come up with a new concept that could at least obtain what he originally wanted. And Lee Jaehun was quite skilled in acting.
He projected the very first personality he created onto his face.
“Well…”
“….”
“Do we need to talk?”
Tired and mechanical.
He smiled like that.
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