Chapter 62 |
“… Now all that’s left is Isley.”
I’m glad things went more smoothly than expected. It seemed that a happy future with Yuria was already glimmering in front of her eyes. I forcibly calmed my excited heart.
Don’t let go of your mind until it’s all over. Remember when you lose your parents? Didn’t the incident happen while you were being vigilant about protecting the two? It will never happen this time.
I made up my mind and headed towards Isley’s room.
Arriving at the place I wanted, I carefully knocked on the door. I had come all the way here, but I didn’t know if Isley was in the room. Because lately he seems like someone who is doing everything he can to avoid me. As expected, there was no sound coming from beyond the door. Clever, I knocked once more.
“Master, are you inside?”
There is no voice coming back. It was just quiet. Where he is? Guess I’ll have to ask the employees about Isley’s whereabouts. As I was about to turn around and leave, I suddenly heard the door open behind me. When I turned my head again, I saw Isley’s figure.
“Layla…?”
Unlike the last time I saw him in the garden, he was wearing a looser outfit. Untidy curly hair, white shirt, black pants… It looked the same as usual. He looked down at me with a confused look.
“I want to talk to the master.”
“……”
“Can you let me in?”
“…..Ah.”
At my words, Isley hurriedly opened the door and stepped aside. I nodded, thanked, and went inside.
He led me to the table near the window. As I sat down first, Isley looked up and sat across from me.
I looked at Isley’s face, thinking about how I should bring up the Duke related story. I hesitated as if I wanted to say something.
I don’t mean to ask if you have anything to say kindly. Just as I was about to ignore his actions and pass by, Isley fell to his knees.
It was such a sudden action that I didn’t know how to react.
I tried to hide my embarrassment and opened my mouth.
“Young master? Why are you? All of a sudden?”
“I don’t know what you want to talk about. But before we begin, I have to say this.”
“… Yes?”
“Sorry.”
He bowed his head.
“… I’m sorry that I kissed you forcibly that day. I’m sorry for threatening you. Sorry… Don’t hate me.”
What is this? He apologized, apologized? Isley Emers to me? It’s impossible. That’s a lie. In the original story, Isley never once apologized to Yuria. He didn’t know what he had done wrong, he just forced her heart into it. Am I looking at something wrong? Why are you doing this? Are you out of your mind? I couldn’t believe it, and rubbing my eyes did not change the sight in front of me. He was kneeling in front of me with his head bowed deeply. I have to react to something. Some reactions… I took a deep breath and I opened my mouth towards Isley.
“Wake up.”
“You.. Forgive me…?”
“… Please wake up first. How can nobles kneel to commoners?”
“If you forgive me, I can get down on my knees.”
“Stop…! Your behavior is making me in trouble. In this state, we can’t have a proper conversation. Can you please sit down?”
He said he would stay like this until I said I forgive him. Tired of Isley, I declared defeat first.
“Then, please listen to the situation. I’m here today for that. On the day you forced a kiss, the master confessed to me. I wanted to give you an answer to my confession.”
Isley lifted his head and looked up at me.
“I can’t accept the confession of the master.”
“Is it because of what I did that day? or not… Just because I hate you?”
“No, it’s not like that. It’s saying that I can’t accept the confession of someone who doesn’t even love me.”
I said the same thing to Osses. You’re just thinking that you love me. You see the person you love projected onto me, and the person you truly love is the Duke. When I finished speaking, I closed my mouth and looked up at his face. Isley’s face darkened. Are you confused like Arthur, or are you going to be dishonest and angry like Osses? However, he showed an unexpected reaction.
Isley bit his lip and looked at me with a look as if he had been hurt. He had watery red eyes. But tears don’t flow.
“… Why are you talking like that? I love you. I’ve never seen you as my mother’s replacement. If you don’t like me, you can just say no…! Do you have to deny my heart like that?”
What are you talking about? Are you saying you really love me? It can’t be. They may see others as substitutes for their mothers, but they can’t truly love others. I get dizzy when the incomprehensible behavior is repeated.
To have a headache. I put my forehead on my forehead and let out a small sigh. Apparently, Isley was misunderstanding his feelings.
“Even if you really love me, I can’t accept it. Because I…”
I raised my head and looked into his eyes.
“Because I’m afraid of the master.”
Fear and disgust are closely related emotions. People often mistake fear for hate, and hate for fear. I thought I hated him, but I didn’t. To be precise, I was afraid of Isley. I’m afraid he’ll hurt Yuria like the original. I’m afraid he’ll kill me for being in the way. Like Count Nigor, he will use his power to persecute us.
I don’t know how he will come out now, but if I’m going to tell my heart without lies, it was.
“Are you afraid? Me?”
Isley’s eyes widened as if he had heard an unexpected answer.
“Yes… you’re scary.”
“Why are you scared?”
“Because you are a nobleman. A noble can do anything to me if he puts his mind to it. Like Count Nigor, abducting Yuria and threatening me, or imprisoning me in a dungeon, would work for you.”
“No…”
“I’m also afraid because you’re stronger than me. If the master tries to knock me down by force, I will be helpless.”
“To push you down…?”
Isley grabbed my hand, looking like he was about to cry. It didn’t seem like he was holding it that hard, but the grip was pretty strong.
“No, it is not. I won’t. I never do that. I am not that kind of person. I don’t bother you like the person you are talking about! Really!”
Lie.
“Yes. I know.”
You are not that kind of person. You and your brothers, I clearly remember how you broke Yuria that way in the original.
“But that kind of scares me. If a master who has the power to lock me up and control me at any time confesses to me and says that I feel love after receiving the confession, would that be true love? Or am I just thinking that I’m in love because I’m afraid of you? It’s scary not knowing that.”
I took a small deep breath and then continued.
“I am afraid of the master. Everything you have scares me.”
Isley Emers had too much. Even if I have affection for him, he is a difficult person to love.
“Then you asked me not to leave the mansion. If you truly love me, please don’t ask me to do that. To me, that sounds like an order, not a request. Please don’t hold me like this. to me… It’s like being forced to go to jail. Please don’t say I love you. Your love is too heavy and burdensome for me. Please understand my feelings of not having anything and not having the strength to protect what I have.”
“I am….”
I made eye contact with him and spoke strongly.
“Can you please?”
Isley opened his mouth as if he had something to say, but couldn’t utter a word.
“… Yes.”
He quietly let go of the consent, then gently released my hand.
“Thanks.”
With this, it’s over.
I got up and walked to the door.
It’s over.
I thought it was over… Why am I looking back?
I don’t know why I stopped holding the doorknob, or why I turned and looked at Isley. At one time he may have held my ankles to the pleasant memories with him.
When I turned around, Isley was looking at me with a wounded look on his face. Then, when my eyes meet his eyes, he shakes his head helplessly. I suddenly felt a sympathy that I never thought I would have in me. His face, his actions, all of him began to awaken the guilt that had been weighed down by the fear and anxiety of losing my family. Isley was pitiful. Every move he made felt pathetic. Oh, I didn’t want him to feel this way.
As the guilt weighed down on me, my heart raced and my hands trembled. It starts to hurt to see Isley. I quickly turned my head and fixed my gaze on the door.
Was I serious? Should I not have said it was scary? Shouldn’t the apology be accepted at least? I was afraid that Isley would imprison Yuria and kill me. But that’s what happened in the original story, and in reality he hasn’t done anything yet. Is it right for me to label Isley as a murderer or a monster and then slander him? Is it right to hurt Isley by thinking that the novel is his true personality?
“… No.”
That’s not right. I know too.
Even though you know there are things you can’t do. Even if I hurt him, I hoped that Yuria wouldn’t be hurt. Because Yuria is several times, hundreds of times, thousands of times more precious than Isley.
Who can say I’m a bad person for this? Can anyone throw a stone at me? no one will be able to after all, aren’t all humans selfish? I’m a human being who can do anything to protect my own. Yes, everyone lives that way. So I want to think that I’m not the only one who is bad.
I don’t want to feel guilty.
I don’t want to feel sorry. therefore…
I’m not bad
I am right.
I must be right
“Young master.”
“……”
“I will forgive you for all the violent actions the master has done to me. Stop it now. It’s hard to see you kneel like that.”
So I decided to forgive Isley.
I forgive you So, please understand that I have no choice but to be like this.
With such a selfish heart.
I left Isley’s room with the last words of apology.